^This fruitcake has been soaking in rum for 70 years! 1,000 proof fruitcake!
Re-gifting, the ultimate way to ding-dong-ditch your least favorite Christmas gift to unsuspecting friends, (well not those you consider close friends) has reached an all-time low!
This above, is a genuine fruitcake from 1941. Made by supermarket giant, Kroger, it remained on one store shelf for thirty years. Yep, I said THIRTY years, vacuum-packed all cozy-like in a container filled with rum.
If I had to sit on a store shelf for that long, somebody better give me some rum too!
Anyhow, it was found in 1971, a year before my sister was even born, RE-GIFTED to a friend of the grocer, and then sat on some dude's shelf at his house for another thirty years until the ULTIMATE RE-GIFTING occurred this year, when this was sold at an auction for $525 smackeroos.
I have never thought of re-gifting for profit, but hey, who knew? Maybe I should peruse my closets and see what ghosts (a.k.a. gifts) of Christmas past might be ready for the same fate?
I can only imagine the auctioneer and his faster-than-the-old-Fed-Ex-commercial-talking-guy doing his spiel for the seventy year old, alcoholic fruitcake:
"DoIhearfivhundredten..fivehundredtenforthefruitcakeforthefruitcakewithinallofus..ten..doIhearfive-twenty? DoIhearfive-twentyforafruitcakeHunterS.Thompsonwould'veloved....DoIhearfive-thirty..forty?Forty-fivefrontandcenter..doIhearfivefifty?Five-fiftytothescarymanintheback..doIhearfiftyfive?Five-fifty-fourtoscarymanintheback..DoIhearsixty...goingoncegoingtwice..SOLDtothescarymaninthebackwithavendettaagainst hisnextdoorneighbor." (just read it really fast)
I'll bet this fruitcake might actually be worth the five hundred and twenty-five bucks, because it's probably the world's most alcoholic fruitcake, as it's been soaking up rum for seventy years. It's probably got more alcohol in it than Otis Campbell did, the time he rode the cow down the street in Mayberry.
In the end, I wish everyone here a Happy Christmas Eve, and feel there's a little fruitcake in each of us, God bless us everyone!
I wonder if Jimmy Buffett saw this article in the news today? He sums everything up perfectly in this song:
So in closing , one last question on this Christmas Eve..