Manuscript Taming Tips From the Editress of Awesome!

Whip?  Check.  Chair?  Check.
This writer 's ready to tame his unruly manuscript!

Today I'm thrilled to welcome to my virtual front porch T.J. Loveless, whom I call "The Editress of Awesome", and I'm pouring her a glass of sweet tea because she's about to answer a big question.  A really, really big question. But she doesn't know it just yet.

T.J. is a great friend of mine and an amazing writer, but also has a super-secret life as an editor, having put the finishing touches on the works of a few well-known authors.  And she also loves sweet tea!

I hope you'll really take notice of her tips, as I think they're incredible. And make sure to check out the deets at the end of our interview about the awesome contest going on over at Cliffhanger Editing.

Big contest to help tame your little manuscript!  Check out Cliffhanger Editing!

So T.J., I've got a question for you.  As an editor, what are the five most common mistakes writers make?  And I'm not talking just newbie writers, but published writers too.

She grins. 

I pour her more sweet tea. 

T.J. drinks, but I can tell she's thinking about this question.  I can't wait to hear what's coming next, and I know it's gonna be good.

She puts down her tea glass.  

T.J. Loveless:  I could go on all day, but here are the big ones.

 1.) Redundancy

This is the biggest issue I see in every MS - including my own. When we self edit, we have a tendency to overlook the filler, which is what it is. By redundancy, I mean to him, at him, with him, they both, we both, etc. Delete. Take it out and don't look back.

2.) Pronouns

Yup, I'm guilty here too. He/she/it/them/I, whether 3rd, 2nd or 1st POV, we use them and have a tendency to overuse them. I can almost guarantee a writer can wipe out 30% of pronouns right out of the editing gate and the MS will make sense and read a lot faster. The reader understands who is on stage at that particular moment. 

3.) Passive writing

*Raises hand* It was, for most of my writings, a huge problem. Had/has/that/this/have been, etc. Most of us write pretty action packed stuff. Using the passive makes it ... meh in feeling. The more active you write, the more you'll keep the reader hooked and turning the pages. 

Other words which can be removed and should be watched closely for constant use: than, then, that, this, there, before, slowly, just, suddenly, barely, etc. Yes, we write on an 8th grade level, but that doesn't mean your readers are stupid. If a change is made without warning, well, it's sudden, isn't it? You don't have to tell them.

4.) Beginnings

Oh dear, one of my biggest weaknesses. I usually start a MS eight or nine times before I figure out the real place to start. For many, many years, writers started their stories way back, trying to give background info to help a reader understand the players in their stories. In the past twenty years or so, that has changed. Most readers want to be closer to when the plot actually occurs. A writer should start close to the real action, and weave in the past. And as the one listening to the voices, only you can decide where that is. 

The other side of that coin is starting too late. When asked to start with action, many believe it is the middle of a fight. I've seen some that yes, it is where it starts. But by action they mean the characters are doing something - getting off a train in the town where it all happens. Taking a fated road trip. Dropping the egg that was supposed to be for breakfast but helps the MC see something strange in their home setting ... you get the idea. 

If you read your MS after allowing it to sit for a few weeks, you'll get a feel for where the story truly begins. Starting too early causes a very slow beginning.

5.) Tense/Point Of View

I always write past tense. It is becoming popular to write in present tense. This is, by far, the hardest to write successfully. We don't truly think in present tense, nor do we talk in present. A majority of the time, it is past tense. If your story is present tense, be very very careful. I mean watch every single sentence. Many authors inadvertently switch between past and present, and it makes for a very confusing MS.

Watch POV - without realizing it, many switch POV among characters in half sentences. Even when doing 3rd Omniscent - seeing everyone's POV - don't switch from one headspace to another without some kind of transition. If you are in character A's head, they aren't going to know why another character does something - unless they are highly psychic and you've established this from the very beginning. 

Think about POV as a camera in an action movie. Even in fast scenes, one character is taking the camera time, everyone else is in the background. If you switch from character to character, back and forth, over and over, without ensuring your audience understands, you're going to make them dizzy. They won't have enough time to reengage with any of the characters. And that, my friends, will make them put your book down. 

***

The five things listed are the biggest issues I see in every MS. It's almost universal. The Find function of your document is a good friend. Use it. Put in the phrases and words above, simply delete them, and then go to work on editing. It will help create a much better, faster read, one your audience is more than willing to pick up, time and again.

***

Many thanks to my good friend T.J., who is also a copy/content editor at Curiosity Quills Press and freelances at Cliffhanger Editing. 

She lives with one Editor Kitty, two Muses, a Hubby who prefers her mood when writing and a teenager who loves to tells stories of her mother on the floor trying to visualize “legs all akimbo” and how Writing Momma has long, often yelling, conversations with the computer screen.

You can find T.J., usually with a tall glass of cold iced tea, on

Facebook

Twitter

The Padded Room (her amazing blog)

Now shhh!  There's an awesome contest happening over at Cliffhanger's - where you can win a full comprehensive edit, a comprehensive partial or a beta read! All you need to do is email two paragraphs of the worst writing you can come up with - and be funny!  Seriously, she wants you to send her your best/worst scribblings ever!

Cliffhanger Editing

Blog

Twitter 

Now memorize her suggestions!  Go!  Do it now! For if you do, you won't make these mistakes again while pounding away on the keyboard trying to create your opus.

And Happy Memorial Day friends.  Let us not forget the true meaning, which is to honor the fallen men and women who sacrificed their lives so that we may live free.  That's what this day is about.  Not barbecue, not burgers, not pool parties, but those who fought for the freedom we take for granted.

We're the land of the free because of the brave.

It'll Only Sting For a Minute!

It saddens me to cut parts from my Evil Little Manuscript,
but it's for her own good.  (photo by me:  Joey Francisco) 
This is my evil, glass-topped writing desk.

Death by scissors sounds ghastly, but if you're a writer and you've completed a manuscript, let's hope you've experienced this trauma (and it is trauma) because you'll have to do it maybe more than once to some characters or scenes before your manuscript is truly ready for readers.

Sure, you want to give the entire backstory on a certain character, but does it make the tale stop the flow of the story?  Look for this when doing re-reads of your work, and also pay very very close attention to any advice given from beta readers, negative feedback from a crit partner, and especially pay attention to anything from an agent if you do a manuscript critique at a conference (did one last year myself) or from your rejection letter(s).

It's the hard truth we must come to learn to accept, and when you use your virtual scissors to delete parts of your book baby, don't forget to copy, paste, and save that excerpt!  That's something we forget to do too, and should you need it later, or realize that segment was an integral part to the story instead of another part you cut, you'll always need to be able to go back and add it in.

I for one know I went kicking and screaming (sort of) when my critique partners told me to ax this or that (can you tell we write thrillers?) and I wanted to cry sometimes when I deleted, but after a while this became far less angst-y for me.

Wanna know what really took the sting out of whacking away parts of my manuscript?  Shhh!  This is my little secret and the thing I do whenever I write dialogue.  I read the section aloud.  So what I do is highlight first the portion of my ms I'm considering to cut, and then read the section aloud without that part  and listen to the flow.  Did it make events move forward?  Did it sound smoother?  If it truly passes that test, then by all means delete away.

And after you receive the feedback, be sure to thank whoever gave it to you. As for me, I think it's never too late to continue tweaking, and last night just sent the ms to two more beta readers for their feedback.  Neither are writers, but both are avid readers and one is a businessman and can't wait to hear their thoughts on the E.L.M. So get rid of any remnants of your ego and do this because you:

• Believe in your book.
• Desire for your book to be in it's best fighting-shape for the query and submission process.
• Won't finish it until it's perfect. 

Look, I know I'm asking you to do something painful. 

We all have to go through painful events in life before we get a good outcome.  Maybe you had braces as a teen? Maybe you trained athletically to make a certain team in high school? Or maybe you had a wiggly tooth as a child that hung on for dear life to a nerve?

Or maybe you were like this guy who got his ass served to him on a silver platter before coming back to knock out the opposition. >

Pardon the cheesy 70's music, but you get the picture. 

But we need to go throught his process to get the end result we want.  After all, as I said earlier, your manuscript needs to get into it's best fighting shape ever! Hell, there's a lot of competition out there folks, but in the end it's really you vs. you, and will take determination, hard work, and a little pain.  

Yell with me now, "Adriannnnnn!!!!"

What Puts the "U" in Your Man-U-Script?

It's okay to be a little different. 
 Isn't she cute?  Meet Pippi, a Zedonk
(zebra + donkey) who rocks both solids & stripes in Dahlonega, GA
at the Chestatee Nature Preserve. 

One thing I love about reading is discovering a certain type of flourish or feel that a particular writer expresses in their work. You can't find these nuances when reading a writer's first book, but it's so fun to recognize them when reading their second, third, or umpteenth offering. To me, it's what makes the writer unique and what keeps me buying their books.

I've been pondering this very thing as I write the sequel to my Evil Little Manuscript (E.L.M.) and an  Evil Side Project (E.S.P.). Both manuscripts are keeping me busy and are incredibly fun to create, but it would seem I've developed my own little "thing" within my first chapters.  Now I didn't know it at first, but it's definitely there, and it is the concept of synchronicity.

As a child of the totally awesome 80's, I was a huge fan of The Police and still am. In fact, I'm still mourning the fact I recently had to miss a free Sting concert in Centennial Olympic Park because of a manuscript deadline.  My loss of tantric ear-candy was profound, but I was glad to take care of business and do what I needed to do for my E.L.M.

One song in particular I wanted to hear was "Synchronicity II" and it reminds me of the wonderful time back in the day when I was assistant editor on the newspaper staff.  I'd stay up late at night and listen to the radio while creating the headlines for "The Trojan Times".  On one night in late October, I was stuck sitting at my typewriter, wracking my angsty-teen brain wondering how to capture the excitement of spirit week for a front page story when that song came on FM-100 (Memphis). I'd heard it before, but being stuck in "writing/editor" mode, I began to focus intently on the lyrics and discovered not only was this song amazingly angsty like the teen-me,  but it did something wild in the literary sense!  In the song there are two seemingly different stories presented, yet the way the tales meshed together at the frightening end was just too *rad* for my adolescent grey matter to handle.

*-If you were born after say, 1990, and do not know the meaning of the word, consult thine Wiki or watch "The Breakfast Club". 

A totally rad 80's flick. The plot showcases the concept of "synchronicity",
but we're just getting to that.
Hang in there. I'm trying to make a point.

 The Synchronicity II music video by The Police is sadly unavailable for me to share with you. I remember Sting's look in the video and could best describe him as a post-apocalyptic, "Mad-Max" newspaper editor clad in colored leather, who sang while papers blew all around.

I wish we had our MTV and could blink back to 1983 to watch the awesomeness, but alas we cannot. The DeLorean is still in the repair shop.  But I can  let you hear the song and show you the amazing lyrics to demonstrate the concept of synchronicity.

Needless to say, I went out and bought the album. Each time I heard Synchronicity II, another lyrical nuance jumped out at me like the monster at the end of the song, whose shadow falls upon the door of the cottage near the dark, Scottish lake. My hormone-fueled brain was overwhelmed by the concept of telling a story with different moving parts that somehow made the plot come together at the right time, thus causing the reader to blow their ever-lovin' mind.

Sort of like this:

 And especially like this! (Yay for chocolate and peanut butter! So different, yet so perfect together.)

At the end of the 80's I went to college, and during some psych classes, came to understand the actual concept of synchronicity as presented by the psychologist Carl Jung, who believed unrelated events can actually have meaningful coincidence.  Of course all of this blew my mind too. 

So now if you add twenty years of this wild concept floating around in my brain, you might better understand why I begin my tales a certain way. And since I write thriller/suspense sagas, to me it makes sense to present multiple events happening simultaneously in chapter one. Why? Well for one thing I believe when a nefarious plot is unleashed upon the world, it causes a karmic chain of events to happen. And two, it's fun to hint to your readers how you plan to take the main character, whose life is ordinary, and link them to the tidal wave of doom that's about to wash over them.  It goes together great, just like the peanut butter & chocolate. A yummy taste of evil!

What puts the "U" in your man-U-script? Do you have a certain "thing" or trademark you place in your work?  If your name wasn't revealed to the reader, would they know you wrote it?  What makes you write the way you do?  Tell me about it!  

So Excited! It's the Cover Reveal for KINDAR'S CURE!

Good things come to those who wait, and I'm thrilled to be a part of the cover reveal of KINDAR'S CURE, an epic YA fantasy written by my very good friend, the fabulous Michelle Hauck.

While I may be a thriller and suspense writer, I also love to read fantasy and science fiction, and believe as writers we should read consistently inside and outside of our genre to stay sharp and keep our creative spirit flowing.  That being said, KINDAR'S CURE is on my Goodreads shelf and I can't wait to dive into it after the release date! Michelle is a wonderful writer, and I'm excited for her on the release of her first book, and know this will be the first of many wonderful literary projects to come from her. Go Michelle Go!

And do stop by her blog (It's in the Details) and say hello!  You'll find the link at the bottom of this post.

Coming in May 2013 from Divertir Publishing! 

You're going to love this book, and the main character Princess Kindar is my kind of heroine.  Now join me for a sneak peek into her world.

Princess Kindar of Anost dreams of playing the hero and succeeding to her mother’s throne. But dreams are for fools. Reality involves two healthy sisters and a wasting disease of suffocating cough that’s killing her by inches. When her elder sister is murdered, the blame falls on Kindar, putting her head on the chopping block.

No one who survives eighteen years of choke lung lacks determination. A novice wizard, Maladonis Bin, approaches with a vision—a cure in a barren land of volcanic fumes. As choices go, a charming bootlicker that trips over his own feet isn’t the best option, but beggars can’t be choosers. Kindar escapes with Mal and several longtime attendants only to have her eyes opened that her country faces dark times. 

Her mother’s decision to close the prosperous mines spurs poverty and joblessness, inciting rebellion and opening Anost to foreign invasion. As Mal urges her toward a cure that will prove his visions, suddenly, an ally turns traitor, delivering Kindar to a rebel army, who have their own plans for a sickly princess.

With the killer poised to strike again, the rebels bearing down, and the country falling apart, she must weigh her personal hunt for a cure against saving her people.

Congratulations Michelle!

Michelle Hauck lives in the bustling metropolis of northern Indiana with her hubby and two teenagers. Two Papillons help balance out the teenage drama. Besides working with special needs children by day, she writes all sorts of fantasy, giving her imagination free range. A book worm, she passes up the darker vices in favor of chocolate and looks for any excuse to reward herself. Bio finished? Time for a sweet snack.

Her YA epic fantasy, Kindar's Cure, is to be published by Divertir Publishing in May 2013. Her short story, Frost and Fog, was picked up by The Elephant's Bookshelf Press for their summer 2013 anthology. 

Twitter: @MIchelle4Laughs

Blog: It's in the Details

Facebook: Michelle Hauck, Author

Kindar's Cure on Goodreads

Evil Adventure With Touch O' Romance Seeks Mature Professional for Exclusive Relationship!

~from The Huffington Post.

Okay, so the other day at lunch I was perusing the internet trying to make a list of literary agents I want to query in the case my dreamy fave agent says thanks but it's not for me.  Why do I do this? Because the E.L.M. (Evil Little Manuscript) really wants a permanent home, and dreams of being inside someone's Vera Bradley beach tote with sand stuck between her pages.  Oh the things we do for our book babies, right?

Anyway, at lunch the other day I was making some online notes when a friend leans over my shoulder and stares along with me at the computer screen.

Here's what went down:

friend: "What the bleep are you doing checking out a dating site?"
me: "Oh hell no. Not doin' that. I'm happily married, and sometimes he even cooks dinner. Not gonna rock that boat ever."
friend: "Well then who the heck are those guys with bios you're staring at and making notes about?"
me:  (sighs) "If you'll notice on the far right one of them is woman. And there are actually three of them on this page."
Friend gives me quizzical look.
me:  "These fine folks are looking for dates with manuscripts.  You know, like that one I've written? They're literary agents."
friend: "Ahhh. Now that makes sense.  But don't you just send your manuscript in to a publishing company and they just make it into a book?"
me:  "Well, self-publishing is big now, but I'm not sure it's for me. I'm a traditional kind of chick."

After this happened, it made me think. There really is a lot in common between dating and querying.

We try to put our manuscript on diets, hoping to lower the word count to make it more pleasing initially to the agent or editor's eye without losing the true essence of the story. Our manuscripts are fussed-over constantly, trying to make the perfect little tweaks and changes so that they're lovable by all. And we work forever on that perfect pitch for any face-to-face agent encounter or with our online query that we hope will hook the most incredibly awesome agent in the world, in hopes of that moment of true Kismet, where their eyes meet and the magic happens.

But sometimes we must resort to more forceful tactics to make either agents or publishers (or both) take notice, so some of us take part in online manuscript pitching contests. Let me tell you, if I do it again, I'm going to wear a faux-fur coat and carry a jeweled cane with the perfect canary-yellow hat plopped on my head. You gotta get in character to do it right, baby. But online pitching is a fun thing to try, and I applaud all the kind writers, agents & publishers who host these fun contests to get the good books out there.  After all, at the heart of the matter, writers are people who love good books, and although we love our own manuscripts supremely, we have a soft spot for all good tales, thus doing a good thing for everyone.

If I ever do another one of these online pitch contests, I'll be ready with faux-fur coat
on & jeweled cane in hand! Make that pitch work the 'nets!

So friends, how's your manuscript doing in the dating pool? Mine is at the shameless flirting stage, but ready to jump to phase two. Has yours gone on any interesting blind dates yet? Any second dates? Let me know because the E.L.M. needs to hear hopeful stories of happily ever after, and not tales of endless one-night-partials.

Best of luck to all in the query trenches. Don't give up and get your stories out there!  Because if not mine, then perhaps yours. We're all in this together.

Cover Reveal Tour & Contest for Terri Bruce's THEREAFTER!

My friend Terri Bruce is a very busy writer, but not too busy to stop by Soul & Sweet Tea and reveal the cover of her latest release!  THEREAFTER is the sequel to 2012's HEREAFTER and is part of the Afterlife series.  

Congratulations Terri! www.TerriBruce.net  

So exited for my friend's latest release & to be a part of her blog tour and giveaway! Haven't had a chance to read THEREAFTER, but definitely will. Love the amazing cover and always enjoy a good paranormal adventure with Irene Dunphy, who's up to more shenanigans in her wild afterlife. 

Here's a little teaser...

Nothing life is free. Turns out, nothing in the afterlife is, either.

When recently-deceased Irene Dunphy decided to “follow the light,” she thought she’d end up in Heaven or Hell and her journey would be over.

Boy, was she wrong.

She soon finds that “the other side” isn’t a final destination but a kind of purgatory where billions of spirits are stuck, with no way to move forward or back. Even worse, deranged phantoms known as “Hungry Ghosts” stalk the dead, intent on destroying them. The only way out is for Irene to forget her life on earth—including the boy who risked everything to help her cross over—which she’s not about to do.

As Irene desperately searches for an alternative, help unexpectedly comes in the unlikeliest of forms: a twelfth-century Spanish knight and a nineteenth-century American cowboy. Even more surprising, one offers a chance for redemption; the other, love. Unfortunately, she won’t be able to have either if she can’t find a way to escape the hellish limbo where they’re all trapped.

Sounds fun doesn't it? 

Now let me clue you in on the contest...it's going to be a scavenger hunt!

One Grand Prize winner will receive a set of 20” x 30” unframed cover art posters (1 each for Hereafter and Thereafter), signed by the author, and an eARC of Thereafter! Five first place winners will receive eARCs of Thereafter. Contest is open internationally. As a special bonus, everyone who enters the contest will receive, via email, a special sneak-peak excerpt of Thereafter, featuring Terri’s favorite scene!

The Thereafter Cover Reveal Tour will run from April 15^th (12:01 am EDT) to April 21^st (11:59 pm EDT).

Entering is simple:
1.Visit all fourteen stops participating in the Thereafter Cover Reveal Blog Tour
2.At each stop, there is an excerpt from Thereafter with a word highlighted in red
3.Collect all fourteen of these highlighted words and arrange them into a fourteen-word sentence that reveals a major plot point of Thereafter
4.Email the sentence and your name to Contest@terribruce.net
5.Then enter via Rafflecopter to confirm that you emailed in your contest entry
6.Additional bonus entries for joining Terri’s mailing list, tweeting about the giveaway, and shelving  Thereafter on Goodreads will become available once you have completed the main entry

Here's the excerpt you'll need to unlock the 14 word sentence:  

"She wrapped her arms around herself and surveyed the forest, keeping a wary eye out for any danger. “I wish we had a fire.”

She turned to find Andras watching her intently. She raised an eyebrow in inquiry. The silence stretched out—he seemed to be searching for something in her face. She met his searching look with one of her own.

Finally, he said, “I died in Al Andalus, on the field at Alarcos.”

Irene was confused for a moment, and then she understood: he was telling her about his death.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Forensic Q/A with Steve Bradshaw, Contest Results + Death by Chocolate!

Wow, there were some amazing questions posed to my friend, Steve Bradshaw, former forensics investigator with over 3,000 cases under his belt and author of THE BLUFF CITY BUTCHER, and I'm so stoked to reveal his incredible responses. And let me tell you, Steve's insight blew me away!

Like I said in the previous post, it is vitally important to learn about forensic science if you're a thriller or suspense writer, but it's also good to have a general working knowledge of the science no matter what genre you write in.  There will always be action, accidents, and nefarious plots, and every genre (except for possibly memoir,  humor or a children's book) can benefit from a writer knowing how to accurately incorporate an accident or homicide into the manuscript.

Many thanks to my friend Steve Bradshaw (www.SteveBradshawAuthor.com)  for taking the time from his busy schedule (writing and on the road actively promoting his latest release) to answer some lively questions and help out fellow writers.

At the end of the post we'll unveil our winner of the signed first edition of  THE BLUFF CITY BUTCHER! Thanks to all who entered and of course to all who come regularly to Soul & Sweet Tea to hang out with me on my virtual front porch.

So without further adieu, here we go! I think you're going to be both amazed and intrigued with his insight, and hope this experience will make you want to reach further as a writer to bring a heightened level of accuracy and creativity to your work.  I hope from time to time we can get Steve back on my blog to do this again.  Who knows?  Maybe in the future there will be a new action and adventure group blog that may pop into existence (wink).

After we announce the winner, I'll share with you a fun experience that happened yesterday that I'm calling "Death by Chocolate" because while Publix Diet Sweet Tea keeps me writing away, sometimes a morsel of chocolate decadence can send my creativity into overdrive & helps me crank out amazing plots twists.

Q and A with Steve Bradshaw:

T.J. said...

Now that I've managed to learn to speak around the bone melting awe, I have a question :)
What was the weirdest discovery you made as a forensic investigator?

SB:  Hi T.J. I must soften my comments because I saw many weird, bizarre, horrific, crazy, dastardly things that are so repulsive they would never be shown on a CSI TV show or movie. I know that’s hard for you to imagine—like what—but I would not want to leave certain images on this very nice blog. If we were by a campfire, and there were a few hardy types, I would tell about the one that made me re-evaluate my career. No campfire here—so—let me tell you about an “unexpected” discovery that moved an obvious “suicide” to “homicide” and caught the “bad guy.”

Body found in a lower level apartment, single gunshot wound to the head (right temple). Gun is in the victim’s right hand. Diary is open on bed to a sad memory, a breakup with a boyfriend. The apartment has one entry—front door—and it is locked, bolted and chained. Body is discovered a week after death because of pungent smell. We break into front door and began to work a “straight-and-forward” suicide. I ask everyone to step outside so I can think...something’s not right, but what? I photograph bedroom where she was found and then sit and look at everything and try to feel something about the moment she pulled the trigger. I get nothing. The way she is laying on the bed is not right to me. I go into the living room and sit and know something is out of place, but what? Then I see an impression in the carpet next to edge of a large console TV. The TV had been moved...maybe a half inch...but why? Behind it were thick curtains and a window. I moved the TV and saw the window was closed but unlocked on inside and the outside screen was hanging but not latched at bottom on the inside. GOT YOU! Sure enough, the killer left out the window and moved everything so no one could tell...except that half inch impression in the carpet he could not see. He wanted it to look like a suicide. Well, he should have worn gloves. His palm print cooked his goose. Nice Try.

77yankees said...

Wow! An interesting interview, Joey, and quite a remarkable individual @ Steve Bradshaw, too.
My question: Given your expertise, how do forensic investigators determine factors like the sex, race, age and potential timeline of death? This is a timely post by Joey, and your response is appreciated because I just happen to have a scene in my work-in-progress where the MC's Lab unearths skeletal remains in the backyard. Thanks in advance and best wishes.

SB: Hi 77yankees. Depending on the condition of the body and the distance between death and discovery, the forensic pathologist has many ways to discern age, race and sex from an assessment of soft tissue and skeletal structure. They also use dental records and DNA to zero in on identity. Depending on the conditions surrounding the location of the body, there can be numerous opportunities for clues that add to the identity. Regarding time of death, I will comment on a few...there are many tools. Rigor mortis, the freezing of muscles, happens in smaller muscles first then larger progressively and then is gone in 36 hours. RM helps in the first 36 along with changes in body temperature that moves from 98.6 F to the ambient temperatures at a predictable rate (although things can alter that rate). Livor mortis (blood settling) is another observation. As an investigator I would look for this (first 30 minutes to 2 hours) because I could often tell if the body was moved and return it to the position at time of death, although LM is not a real predictable marker. Putrefaction and insect activity deal with other stages of death. The forensic anthropologist is one brought in to help with identification and assessments of remains that are decomposed, mutilated, burned, pieces, and when you only have skeletal remains. 77Yankee, you need to get a forensic anthropologist to your death scene before someone disturbs the remains.

Michelle 4 Laughs said...

Some really great advice for writers, Steve...Thanks. I'm not sure if this graphic question applies to your expertise, but here goes. If someone is severing a foot at the ankle from behind (the back of the leg), would it sever tendons and the hamstring? Assuming the person hit bone and the knife stuck there, would this result in the foot dangling somewhat? Just trying to get the correct image...Thanks...

SB: Hi Michelle...Depending on the knife, path and power of thrust, there could be any end result you are looking for. If the knife was large and sharp and the thrust powerful and point of contact inferior fibula region posterior entry, the knife could easily sever the Achilles tendon and the Peroneus longus/brevis tendons, and all the ligaments connecting the tibia to the Talus and Calcaneus (heel) bone. The end result can be complete and total dismemberment or partial, where soft tissue (skin, tendon or ligament) are not completely severed...the foot would dangle from the leg. In BLUFF CITY BUTCHER, one of the characteristics of this serial killer is his unique skill sets. His use of a knife is phenomenal and unique. That is how Elliott Sumner (forensic sleuth) tracks him through his kills. If you read the early chapters when Elliott is at an autopsy examining the BUTCHER’S handy work, you will see the image you seek.

rhiannwynnnolet.com said...

Thanks in advance! Scenario - victim of ocean drowning, how many hours until skin begins to slough and would it be likely/unlikely that her eyes would be intact after being in the water several hours (as opposed to being eaten by sea life). Yeah, gross, I know... Also, I'm assuming she'd be bloated to some degree?

SB: The forensics of victims found in water is quite complex and in many cases there is still a lot of learning going on. My sleuthing was inland and my encounters of “floaters” were limited. I cannot speak in specifics, but can share the broader picture and suggest you Google “Forensics/Water” for more drill down. The temperature of the body found always plays the greatest role in zeroing in on time of death from my perspective. The body loses about 1.5°C per hours (rule of thumb for investigators). And there are more variables when dealing with very cold or very warm water and stagnant or flowing water and different salinities. As you can imagine, the science is very complex and why some forensic experts specialize in these areas. I would look at the skin. If it was rough and pimply, I knew the body was probably not in the water long. If it was already selling and grossly wrinkled it had been there overnight as a general rule (again forensic investigators are not forensic pathologists). The last stage before sloughing off skin is called adipocere. The skin soap-like meaning the body has been in the water many weeks. All during that process there are animal and insect activity. In BLUFF CITY BUTCHER, they find a victim tied under his boat in a lake. The untrained coroner thinks turtles ate his eyes and fingers and toes. Actually the BUTCHER removed the eyes, which Elliott Sumner discovers and links the victim to the string of kills. There is a lot written about “floaters” that you can read.

S Jenan said...

AHHH! I'm doomed by Eastern Time. I'll throw my question in the hat anyway:
Body left under heating blanket to disguise time of death. Discovery is approx. 2 days later. How close can the coroner pinpoint TOD using other indicators?

SB: Actually it is easier than you think. Body temperature is not the only tool in the medical examiner’s tool box to determine time of death. Assuming our victim’s watch had not stopped (kidding), we would assess Rigor and Livor Mortis relative to temperature produced by the blanket. The head and feet, unless under the blanket, would have different characteristics. The M.E. would assess organ and tissue degradation, body fluids, stomach contents (degree of digestion) and other factors relative to the environment where the body was found. Also, exact time of death may not be as important as we are led to believe. If we have the “bad guy” and we are in the ball park that may be all that is necessary to rule on cause and manner of death. I have seen many death certificates go out with TIME OF DEATH undetermined.

And now here's Steve's thoughts on who should win the signed first edition of BLUFF CITY BUTCHER~
SB: "I think TJ had the best question. I think my answer gives people a better feel of what forensic investigation is truly all about...justice."

Congratulations to T.J. Loveless!  You win! But honestly, all these questions were truly amazing and winners in my book, because of the amazing knowledge gleaned during the process. 

Death by Chocolate!!! Yummy Grand Marnier truffles &
THE DEATH BROKERS! 

Now let me quickly share with you my adventure yesterday with two of my girlfriends at an amazing store filled with the most decadent and gorgeous chocolate goodies you've ever seen! It was like Willy Wonka's magic factory for grownups, and I fell in love (or was it lust?) with The Chocolaterie at the Avenue Forsyth. Click on the link and salivate!

 We oooh'd and ahhh'd at the handmade artisan chocolates; each a work of art with flecks of color and gorgeous swirls.  But what truly caught my eye were the dozens of gorgeous truffles behind the glass counters looking like like giant candy-colored gemstones and the innovative flavor varieties!

Now many of you know the Evil Little Manuscript (also known as THE DEATH BROKERS) and I are beginning our journey towards (*fingers crossed) publication, so I couldn't possibly resist two truffles I discovered.  They called to me from behind the glass, reminding me of great scenes and details from THE DEATH BROKERS.  

One truffle was named "Miami Spice" and I had to try it, because in the manuscript so much excitement and  mischief happens in both Miami and the Florida Keys. Like the Evil Little Manuscript, the "Miami Spice" truffle had the right combination of sweet and heat, and featured the flavors of Key Lime and Arbol chili pepper folded into their rich, artisan chocolate. It was decadent, dangerous, and perfect! 

Another truffle, the "Grand Marnier",  was another I had to taste, for it captured the intensity of the scene in the Evil Little Manuscript (E.L.M.) where the protagonist's (then) husband signs a contract after eating a delectable Grand Mariner souffle at the Hotel Peabody in Memphis.  He doesn't know it, but when he signs on the dotted line, he becomes one of the death brokers.  Had to buy that one too and it didn't disappoint! Orange-y chocolate heaven. Mmmmm. 

MORE death by chocolate! Aren't these truffles almost too gorgeous to eat?
Here's the "Miami Spice" and the "Grand Marnier" truffles I bought.  Delectable art!

Wish you could have been with us! It was so much fun.