Put a Name On It!

"If you liked it, then you shoulda put a ring TITLE on it."~Beyonce.

I <3 both Beyonce & JT! And if that song were about book titles, it would probably
make this blog post totally awesome, but this is serious stuff we've got to get out of the way.

It's time to talk titles.

I've seen the good, the bad, and the really, really stupid.  But before we chat on my virtual front porch, let me pour you a glass of sweet tea because it's getting hot out here.

As you may (or may not) know,  I'm seeking a traditional publishing contract and not going to self-publish, but hey---that could change in the future.  The world of publishing is going through a transformation and it's a wild ride. I'd say half of my writing friends are going the traditional route, and the other half are wading into the self-publishing waters.  But it doesn't matter which road you take, you gotta put a name on your manuscript.

That being said, I have a huge confession to make. It's hard to admit, but here goes. *Taking big sip of iced tea.*

In the past I've bought a few books because of a kick-ass title and good back cover blurb.

But for the most part, before I hand over my dinero to the cashier or toss the e-book into the teeny shopping cart on my computer screen, I look at the reviews, or read a sample chapter, but I have done the unthinkable in the past.

*Ducks under virtual porch swing.*

Call me shallow, but I'm like tons of readers who do this every day. We're lured in by slick cover art and cool titles.  And I think it's great! That means somebody's doing something right! The author/publisher got us to buy the book.

On AQC, (Agentqueryconnect) my favorite writing website, I frequently lurk about the area where writers ask opinions about book titles, because I think it's just.that.important.

You see, I want the title of a manuscript to actually be intriguing, yet somehow manage to convey genre and tone.

That's a helluva lot to ask from just a few words, but  it can be done.

And when I walk the aisles at my neighborhood bookstore, if I have no freaking idea what your book is about, I WILL NOT pick it up and buy it.  In fact, I'd be more apt to pick up a paperback called The Story of Poop, than pick up a paperback with nonsensical words on the cover.

You got a space opera called The Flagenroot of Zanderia self-pubbed on Amazon?

Get ready for NOTHING! Readers will think you've been listening to Pink Floyd and partaking in magic mushrooms, because they'll have no idea what your book is about. Your manuscript will have a lot of waiting to do, unless your mom or Aunt Sally or your best friend feels sorry for you and buys it.

So be really, really careful if your book title has a made-up word on the cover.  Now I understand in the high fantasy/science fiction genres this is common because of the extravagant world-building, but please, please at least have the other words in short title be relevant so the title will make sense to the reader/buyer.

A great example of this is J.K. Rowling's runaway hit:  Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban!

For SC-who loves Harry Potter.
And aw heck...I do too!

Nine years ago nobody knew what the hell an Azkaban was, but when a few key words were added, it was easy to infer Azkaban was a prison.  And since it was part of a series, her readers knew Harry Potter was a boy wizard, thus the book must be an adventure about someone in a magical prison! Voila! Ms. Rowling pulled it off in style!

Here's a few more great books and titles that get this point across.  You can infer the genre and plot from a few choice words.

Enough said. The title is JUST ONE WORD and it's all that and a bag of chips!!!
Even if you took away the killer art on the cover, you know what it's about, and you'll be
afraid to dip your big toe in the water after the last page.

I'm a thriller/romantic suspense writer & a huge fan of John Grisham.  I especially loved this one.
Many of his book titles easily convey to the reader the big action coming their way.

My favorite Dan Brown book. You know there will be good guys
and very very bad ones just from the title.  Plus the chosen words convey CONFLICT.
Yes conflict! Good work Mr. Brown!

So here are my suggestions for creating a killer title:

1. Who's the protagonist & what is the conflict? Sometimes a title can be as easy as that. It's the good  guy or gal and their struggle against X. You fill in what X is. Sometimes there's more than one answer to these questions, so write it all down!
2. Who's the antagonist? What do they want?
3. Is there something unique that stands out about your plot?  What is it? Unique setting? Place? Time?
4. Now write down ALL the answers (There will be many!) to these first three questions. If the answer to any of the questions are in the form of a sentence or phrase, break the sentence apart into single words.
5. Explore different combinations of these words and there's probably a great title hidden in your word soup.  It's your puzzle and only you can figure this out.  
6. Don't worry if you're halfway done with your manuscript and it doesn't have a name.  Sometimes after you write the ending, the name will come to you.  All in good time my Padawan. Within, your creative force lives. 
   

That's how I roll, and I even accidentally helped one of my fabulous writing buddies name her manuscript that's coming out! *Squee!* And the publisher is keeping the title, and I hope her agent liked it. But there's one thing for sure about her manuscript~the words on the pages WILL BE as good as the title.

You see, that's the even bigger challenge after choosing the right name for your bookbaby.

Make the words inside even better than your title.

No matter how great your title is, or how awesomely creative the cover art, it's the words that will keep the momentum going, so make the tale shine.  Make the character's struggle and emotions jump off the pages.  Let your reader feel like they're bff with your protagonist so they'll root for them. 

So how do you come up with your manuscript titles? Have you ever bought a book just because the title sounded cool or the cover art looked great? If you did, did the pages inside deliver and keep you turning pages, or were you completely let down? 

Welcome to Jurassic Beach!

Dino-bird of death on Johnson Beach.

An hour before sunset, this beautiful Blue Heron flew down right in front of us on the beach at Johnson Beach (Perdido Key, FL).  The four foot tall fowl didn't seem too frightened of humans, and walked in and out of the surf looking for dinner. And me, being the total science/biology geek, followed it around with my camera.

Eventually, our predator found a fish in ankle-deep water and skewered it with his beak, then tried to swallow it whole, but he wasn't able to get it to go down his long, skinny neck.

So what did he do next?

He carried the fish to a sandy spot near a dune, leaned his long neck back, and stabbed the flopping fish to death, using his sharp beak as a dagger.

Next,  he carried the dead fish to the water, rinsed it off, and gulped it down.  As he walked away, the tail of his victim could be seen sticking out of the side of his mouth.

I wish I'd gotten video of the event, but we were all too busy watching him attack the fish with our mouths wide open.

Seriously, this guy was like a modern day Velociraptor, and we totally understood the whole bird-dino link after that.

This was his footprint. Bigger than my hand! Jurassic indeed!

Substitute his feathers with scales, and you get this:

Now we didn't take this video below, but it's quite similar to what we witnessed, except our Blue Heron stabbed the prey more than one time and was a bit more brutal.

Be patient.  You gotta wait for it! This dude's a serious hunter, and he's quick when he strikes!  Got any fun vacation stories to share? Witness any of the thrilling natural world on your travels? Send them my way! Happy summer everyone.

Killer Couscous Salad TO DIE FOR!

Okay, so I couldn't resist putting the title of my manuscript in the recipe, but what do you expect when you have a thriller writer in the kitchen?

Here's what we had for dinner tonight.  And yes, you can serve it with iced/sweet tea (of course).

Killer Couscous Salad

Kitchen Weaponry:

• sharp knife (of course)
• fork 
• vegetable peeler
• small to medium sized pot
• hand-juicer (the old fashioned kind)
• large bowl 

Ingredients:

• 2 boxes instant Parmesan couscous
• 1 large cucumber
• fresh basil (at least 3 tablespoons worth)
• 2 bunches green onions
• 2 lemons
• 2 tablespoons virgin olive oil
• 1 large carrot
• 1/4 lb. low sodium turkey breast from deli

Make it:

1. Before preparing veggies, begin boiling water on stove for couscous. Follow package direction. Make couscous. After preparing, let it cool then fluff it with a fork.
2. Use peeler to peel outside of cucumber, then slice in 1/2.  De-seed. Then use knife to chop into little bits.  Put it in your bowl.
3. Use peeler to peel carrot into super-thin curls.  Add to bowl.
4. Open packet of fresh basil.  Smell basil.  Smells like summer, doesn't it? Now rip off the leaves & chop finely with knife. You know what's next.  Bowl.
   
5. Chop the green onions finely. Yep  it's going in the bowl again.
6. Chop the turkey breast, but if you wish, you can omit the turkey if you're vegan or want the salad a little bit lighter.  It's great either way. Add to bowl.
7. Fold the couscous into the bowl and mix ingredients. 
8. Slice lemons in half, juice the lemons & add the juice to the bowl, drizzling it evenly over the veggie/couscous mixture.
   
9. Drizzle the olive oil over the veggie/couscous mixture evenly.
10. Chop the turkey breast finely, but you may leave the meat out to enjoy this dish meat-free.
11. Thoroughly mix all ingredients one last time.
12. You can serve immediately, or chill in the refrigerator to serve cool later. It's wonderful any way you decide to serve it.

It's so freakin' awesome, even Wyatt wanted a taste of couscous salad!
Nah, he didn't.  He just really wanted some turkey. Here he
is doing the "I'm cute, see me standing on my hind legs for food" dance.

Wyatt's Evil Twin

Wyatt the Wonderdog!

Some of you might remember me mentioning from time to time my hilarious havanese-Wyatt.  He's thirteen pounds of fluff and fun.  And he gripes.  If you hug someone in our house and Wyatt's not actually involved IN the hug with you, you get barked at.  Sometimes he acts like a cat, walking paw over paw across the impossibly narrow back of my armchair.

On the rare occasion  he is a watchdog, growling under his breath through the door at the dog across the street, but 99.9% of the time he's just too damned friendly.  I swear, he'd waggle his butt and lick the hand of a burglar if they smiled at him. And yea,  he actually does smile!  Geez I have to get a picture of him doing this, just so you'll believe me, but he's a smiley little dude.

And he jumps.  Oh boy does he jump!  He bounces up and down like a ball, and usually he does it whenever there's a food-ish item around that he thinks he'd enjoy. I gotta get a video of that too.

But he cracks me up the most when he's watching TV. His favorite channel is Animal Planet, and if we're watching a show and a herd of wild gazelle run across the screen, he follows them, going behind the back of the TV, looks for them and gets all confused.  Where'd they go? They disappeared! Come back here!

Here's Wyatt last year ago watching the "magic box". Well, at least that's what I think he thinks it is.

And during the school year he waits patiently at the front door for my son to get off of the school bus.

Sometimes I wonder what he'd say if he could talk. And I think I might have an answer, as I found Wyatt's evil twin on YouTube.  Apparently his name is Gryphon,  and he looks like Wyatt, except he's 1) A shih tzu  2) White-ish, whereas Wyatt is black-ish  and 3) Very very evil!!!  But I love this little guy too. And now after watching this video, it makes me wonder what Wyatt actually thinks about if he doesn't get his doggie biscuit before bed at  night.

If you liked that video, check out Toby Turner's YouTube channel. He's hilarious & has another Gryphon-themed one called "Crawlasaurus" that cracks me up, featuring Gryphon crawling on the floor.  And yea, Wyatt does that too.

Now don't laugh, one of these days I'm going to write a children's book based on Wyatt.  I've already got a working title for it-Wyatt The Whatever. You see, my little guy was born at a puppy mill where they bred designer dogs and we rescued him after the mill was shut down. When we adopted him, we just wanted to save him & could care less what breed he was, and honestly to this day, we're still not 100% sure. Our old vet said he looked like & had the fur, height, face, and body structure of a havanese, so we're sticking with that. The tale (or should I say tail?) would be about a puppy that's rescued, only to go to a dog park a few months later and meet other dogs, and then try to figure out what he is. Is he a beagle?  A poodle? A golden retriever?  What IS he?

But that's just me writing/thinking out loud here, and this idea is definitely high on my bucket list.

So tell me, does your pet do anything unusual? Do they possess superpowers? Tell me about it! And I'm going to start following my dog around more often with my phone (call me the "pup-arazzi") so I can catch him doing stunts that crack me up.

Save Your Characters With Word Economics!

Sorry for the unexpected interruption folks, but sometimes life hands you lemons and you must make a decision what to do with the sour yellow footballs. Needless to say, I grabbed a knife, hacked them in half, squeezed their juicy little innards out, and made the best damn lemonade evah!

"Lemonade-that cool refreshing drink."-Eddie Murphy

 So today we're going to enjoy a glass on my virtual front porch instead of sweet tea. And here's something else fun.  As a result of the last few weeks, I've also made a decision to leave my comfort zone and professionally move into a different realm which totally embraces my being a science geek/former biology major.  Sure, I'll still keep up my medical license and do all the continuing education requirements while keeping my lab coat in the office, but I'm excited to throw my hat back into the sales arena after a decade and a half haitus, and it's going to be great fun.

And I'll sure as heck never give a presentation like this.  But it is funny. And FWIW, I'd give them a parting gift after this presentation or a souvenir (Step Brothers humor. Pardon me. I love it.), so long as the bros didn't call me Pamm or Jodie or Ms. Lady. You may refer to their infamous job interview scene & can find it on YouTube.  I'd post that here too, but the language is a little flowery.

Gotta love black leather gloves & their R&D dept. It must've been hard to get the bees to hold still.  And for that, I salute them.

Anyhow back to the blog,  because in my private time, words rule!

And during my brief hiatus, I did something wild after editing & re-editing & re-re-editing my Evil Little Manuscript otherwise known as THE DEATH BROKERS.  I read. Yep,  I read one good thriller and began reading a whole stack o' books in different genres, but something specific stuck in my mind after having been in editing mode for so long, and that would be word economy.

It's hard to remove the editing hat once you're allowed enough time to actually read for enjoyment,  and despite my best attempt to toss off that hat, I'd still find ways to improve whatever I read.

As my eyes scanned a passage, I'd unconsciously find ways to make it read smoother, and in the thriller I read (not written by one of my friends btw) I found myself removing this or that mentally to make the action get the hell moving.

Earlier today I chatted with one of my fabulous crit partners and this topic came up. FWIW, he's one of the word economy kings, and now I'm proud to have joined the unofficial club of word-economists.  You should seriously think about joining too.  There's no annual membership fee & only thing you do as a member is use your words effectively.  We hold no meetings.  You're on your own & there's no cute  membership card to keep in your wallet.

Since I mentioned mentioned flowery earlier, let's talk even more about word economics.   It keeps you writing & staying on the plot path rather than wandering off into left field and into a literary meadow where there are purple flowery things growing.

The purple flowery prose may look beautiful, but they're really weeds!
Avoid or destroy.  

 Remember the scene in the Wizard of Oz where Dorothy wanders into the poppy field & falls asleep?  That's what happens to your readers if you give them a field of purple flowery prose or unnecessary sentences and fail to keep the action moving.

Imagine these poppies are purple.  YOUR purple flowery and/or over-written prose.

Let me further illustrate by making up a fictional paragraph ever-so-loosely based upon the really great thriller I just read. Character names have been changed to protect the innocent.

Now pretend after watching this clip, that MacGyver is Johnny in the following paragraph.  But he isn't outside fighting a drug czar with a fake moustache, he's in a warehouse and his love-interest-reporter is held captive on another floor.

"Johnny grabbed the off-white colored C4 plastic explosive putty & jammed it into the crack between the gleaming metal elevator doors. Next he pushed in the blast cap into the C4 and inserted the fuse into the  plastic explosive. 

Johnny thought of Susan, the reporter he wanted to save who was held prisoner two floors below.  She meant more to him than just a reporter who would keep their lives safe by exposing the truth; Susan was someone he cared for, with her beautiful chocolate-brown eyes and raven hair. This was the first time in Johnny's life he'd experienced love. The warehouse will blow sky-high, but he won't leave the warehouse without Susan in his arms. He lit the end of the fuse with his lighter he pulled from his ammo vest and ran several hundred feet away and ducked behind giant wooden crates."

Geesh.  What a mess.  Even his Royal Purpleness would say that's an awful waste of his favorite color. He's so bored & sleepy after reading that passage, he had to rest upon the royal couch.

Dave Chappelle channeling Prince.

My hands shook & my eyes almost bled writing that horrid example, but I want to hear from you.

How would YOU re-do this mess?  What would you delete/merge/rewrite? How would you move the action along? 

Let's make this fun! Can't wait to read your edits! Can you save Johnny?  Will he still pause to reflect on his love for Susan? Will they make it out of the warehouse? 

We'll find out when you post your replies!

Manuscript Taming Tips From the Editress of Awesome!

Whip?  Check.  Chair?  Check.
This writer 's ready to tame his unruly manuscript!

Today I'm thrilled to welcome to my virtual front porch T.J. Loveless, whom I call "The Editress of Awesome", and I'm pouring her a glass of sweet tea because she's about to answer a big question.  A really, really big question. But she doesn't know it just yet.

T.J. is a great friend of mine and an amazing writer, but also has a super-secret life as an editor, having put the finishing touches on the works of a few well-known authors.  And she also loves sweet tea!

I hope you'll really take notice of her tips, as I think they're incredible. And make sure to check out the deets at the end of our interview about the awesome contest going on over at Cliffhanger Editing.

Big contest to help tame your little manuscript!  Check out Cliffhanger Editing!

So T.J., I've got a question for you.  As an editor, what are the five most common mistakes writers make?  And I'm not talking just newbie writers, but published writers too.

She grins. 

I pour her more sweet tea. 

T.J. drinks, but I can tell she's thinking about this question.  I can't wait to hear what's coming next, and I know it's gonna be good.

She puts down her tea glass.  

T.J. Loveless:  I could go on all day, but here are the big ones.

 1.) Redundancy

This is the biggest issue I see in every MS - including my own. When we self edit, we have a tendency to overlook the filler, which is what it is. By redundancy, I mean to him, at him, with him, they both, we both, etc. Delete. Take it out and don't look back.

2.) Pronouns

Yup, I'm guilty here too. He/she/it/them/I, whether 3rd, 2nd or 1st POV, we use them and have a tendency to overuse them. I can almost guarantee a writer can wipe out 30% of pronouns right out of the editing gate and the MS will make sense and read a lot faster. The reader understands who is on stage at that particular moment. 

3.) Passive writing

*Raises hand* It was, for most of my writings, a huge problem. Had/has/that/this/have been, etc. Most of us write pretty action packed stuff. Using the passive makes it ... meh in feeling. The more active you write, the more you'll keep the reader hooked and turning the pages. 

Other words which can be removed and should be watched closely for constant use: than, then, that, this, there, before, slowly, just, suddenly, barely, etc. Yes, we write on an 8th grade level, but that doesn't mean your readers are stupid. If a change is made without warning, well, it's sudden, isn't it? You don't have to tell them.

4.) Beginnings

Oh dear, one of my biggest weaknesses. I usually start a MS eight or nine times before I figure out the real place to start. For many, many years, writers started their stories way back, trying to give background info to help a reader understand the players in their stories. In the past twenty years or so, that has changed. Most readers want to be closer to when the plot actually occurs. A writer should start close to the real action, and weave in the past. And as the one listening to the voices, only you can decide where that is. 

The other side of that coin is starting too late. When asked to start with action, many believe it is the middle of a fight. I've seen some that yes, it is where it starts. But by action they mean the characters are doing something - getting off a train in the town where it all happens. Taking a fated road trip. Dropping the egg that was supposed to be for breakfast but helps the MC see something strange in their home setting ... you get the idea. 

If you read your MS after allowing it to sit for a few weeks, you'll get a feel for where the story truly begins. Starting too early causes a very slow beginning.

5.) Tense/Point Of View

I always write past tense. It is becoming popular to write in present tense. This is, by far, the hardest to write successfully. We don't truly think in present tense, nor do we talk in present. A majority of the time, it is past tense. If your story is present tense, be very very careful. I mean watch every single sentence. Many authors inadvertently switch between past and present, and it makes for a very confusing MS.

Watch POV - without realizing it, many switch POV among characters in half sentences. Even when doing 3rd Omniscent - seeing everyone's POV - don't switch from one headspace to another without some kind of transition. If you are in character A's head, they aren't going to know why another character does something - unless they are highly psychic and you've established this from the very beginning. 

Think about POV as a camera in an action movie. Even in fast scenes, one character is taking the camera time, everyone else is in the background. If you switch from character to character, back and forth, over and over, without ensuring your audience understands, you're going to make them dizzy. They won't have enough time to reengage with any of the characters. And that, my friends, will make them put your book down. 

***

The five things listed are the biggest issues I see in every MS. It's almost universal. The Find function of your document is a good friend. Use it. Put in the phrases and words above, simply delete them, and then go to work on editing. It will help create a much better, faster read, one your audience is more than willing to pick up, time and again.

***

Many thanks to my good friend T.J., who is also a copy/content editor at Curiosity Quills Press and freelances at Cliffhanger Editing. 

She lives with one Editor Kitty, two Muses, a Hubby who prefers her mood when writing and a teenager who loves to tells stories of her mother on the floor trying to visualize “legs all akimbo” and how Writing Momma has long, often yelling, conversations with the computer screen.

You can find T.J., usually with a tall glass of cold iced tea, on

Facebook

Twitter

The Padded Room (her amazing blog)

Now shhh!  There's an awesome contest happening over at Cliffhanger's - where you can win a full comprehensive edit, a comprehensive partial or a beta read! All you need to do is email two paragraphs of the worst writing you can come up with - and be funny!  Seriously, she wants you to send her your best/worst scribblings ever!

Cliffhanger Editing

Blog

Twitter 

Now memorize her suggestions!  Go!  Do it now! For if you do, you won't make these mistakes again while pounding away on the keyboard trying to create your opus.

And Happy Memorial Day friends.  Let us not forget the true meaning, which is to honor the fallen men and women who sacrificed their lives so that we may live free.  That's what this day is about.  Not barbecue, not burgers, not pool parties, but those who fought for the freedom we take for granted.

We're the land of the free because of the brave.

It'll Only Sting For a Minute!

It saddens me to cut parts from my Evil Little Manuscript,
but it's for her own good.  (photo by me:  Joey Francisco) 
This is my evil, glass-topped writing desk.

Death by scissors sounds ghastly, but if you're a writer and you've completed a manuscript, let's hope you've experienced this trauma (and it is trauma) because you'll have to do it maybe more than once to some characters or scenes before your manuscript is truly ready for readers.

Sure, you want to give the entire backstory on a certain character, but does it make the tale stop the flow of the story?  Look for this when doing re-reads of your work, and also pay very very close attention to any advice given from beta readers, negative feedback from a crit partner, and especially pay attention to anything from an agent if you do a manuscript critique at a conference (did one last year myself) or from your rejection letter(s).

It's the hard truth we must come to learn to accept, and when you use your virtual scissors to delete parts of your book baby, don't forget to copy, paste, and save that excerpt!  That's something we forget to do too, and should you need it later, or realize that segment was an integral part to the story instead of another part you cut, you'll always need to be able to go back and add it in.

I for one know I went kicking and screaming (sort of) when my critique partners told me to ax this or that (can you tell we write thrillers?) and I wanted to cry sometimes when I deleted, but after a while this became far less angst-y for me.

Wanna know what really took the sting out of whacking away parts of my manuscript?  Shhh!  This is my little secret and the thing I do whenever I write dialogue.  I read the section aloud.  So what I do is highlight first the portion of my ms I'm considering to cut, and then read the section aloud without that part  and listen to the flow.  Did it make events move forward?  Did it sound smoother?  If it truly passes that test, then by all means delete away.

And after you receive the feedback, be sure to thank whoever gave it to you. As for me, I think it's never too late to continue tweaking, and last night just sent the ms to two more beta readers for their feedback.  Neither are writers, but both are avid readers and one is a businessman and can't wait to hear their thoughts on the E.L.M. So get rid of any remnants of your ego and do this because you:

• Believe in your book.
• Desire for your book to be in it's best fighting-shape for the query and submission process.
• Won't finish it until it's perfect. 

Look, I know I'm asking you to do something painful. 

We all have to go through painful events in life before we get a good outcome.  Maybe you had braces as a teen? Maybe you trained athletically to make a certain team in high school? Or maybe you had a wiggly tooth as a child that hung on for dear life to a nerve?

Or maybe you were like this guy who got his ass served to him on a silver platter before coming back to knock out the opposition. >

Pardon the cheesy 70's music, but you get the picture. 

But we need to go throught his process to get the end result we want.  After all, as I said earlier, your manuscript needs to get into it's best fighting shape ever! Hell, there's a lot of competition out there folks, but in the end it's really you vs. you, and will take determination, hard work, and a little pain.  

Yell with me now, "Adriannnnnn!!!!"